Welcome
Ahoy there peruser of all things internet. Somehow you've stumbled upon this blog, and you're probably thinking "what the hell is this crap!?". Well at the moment it's a work in progress of an idea to merge food and movie reviews in some manner. Things may change over time, but don't expect a great deal of coherence in my reviews, I think Philip J Fry said it best.
"There. Now he's trapped in a book I wrote. A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors."
Enjoy
The Bourne Legacy: "Super Special" Pineapple Pizza
You know what's awesome? That's right, pizza.
So of course after a long, hard day at work you decide to treat yourself to a nice delivery pizza from your favourite local pizza place. Now you've had their pizza before and each time it's been wonderful: rich flavoursome sauce, thick moist base, lashings of cheese and an assortment of delightfully complimenting meats and vegetables.
So naturally when the owner of your favourite local pizza place informs you that they have a new super special pineapple pizza, and that he personally recommends it. You think to yourself, you know what I trust this guy, and hey I like pineapple, sure I've never tried it on pizza but it's worked on other things. You tell him as much, and say that since he has made such great pizza before you trust him on this one. The compliment is graciously accepted and the order is made, at this point the owner tells you that he in fact only recently bought this place from the previous owner and that your pizza will be with you in about 30 minutes. Uh-oh.
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| Motherfucking pineapple |
Upon its arrival, in trepidation you open the pizza box. It looks almost the same. Sure it looks like a pizza, but something's not quite right...you take a slice and the pizza flops, causing the cheese-laden pineapple topping to fall to the floor, revealing a thin, brittle base. Upon reassembling the pizza, you taste it, the cheese is rather nice, unfortunately the sauce is pretty much just red and water, masquerading as the sauce you once loved. Furthermore this pineapple really doesn't seem to work, you remove some of the pineapple slices and taste them separately. "Delicious!", you exclaim to an empty room, you add the pineapple back to the pizza, take a bite but once again it just doesn't work.
You sit down, sigh, and proceed to finish the decidedly disappointing pineapple pizza.
It's just not the same as when the other guy was running the joint.
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Side order: What was up with that ending? My god that was awful.
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