The Wedding Video: Sherry Trifle

I'm going to preface this review by making it very clear. I have yet to have a trifle that I have fully enjoyed, whilst I realise this doesn't bode well for the rest of the review, you'll just have to bear with me.

As that episode of Friends taught us, just because you can mix together several delicious ingredients to make a trifle, does't mean you should.

If you're like me, in so much as you don't like trifle, when you do happen upon it at a dinner party or some event, you will most likely try your hardest to play with it, separating the layers, trying to reap some individual enjoyment from each of the separate ingredients rather than the thing as whole. More often than not you'll eat it top to bottom separately, an experience that rather nicely describes watching The Wedding Video (holy breaking extended metaphors batman!).

The cream: After an initial delay to get started, when you finally decide to dig in you can enjoy the best part, the lovely fresh cream. Familiar, yes, but still fresh, enjoyable and nicely aerated such that it's not too dense. Ah yes, the false sense of security/enjoyment that the cream yields almost makes the entire trifle experience worth while, but all good things must come to an end.

The jelly: "Oh god why, why was I so foolish to think I could enjoy this?" are your thoughts about a minute into the jelly. I don't quite understand jelly, it rarely tastes nice (hell, it rarely tastes of anything) and the texture is so off-putting that I can't really comprehend why people subject themselves to it. You continue to force spoon after spoon of this flavourless ooze down your gullet in the hope that whoever made this damn trifle decided to give a shit and make a nice custard.

The custard: To make instant custard, empty the contents of the pack into a measuring jug, pour on boiling water up to the 425ml level, stir briskly with a fork to incorporate all the powder. "Fuck".

The sponge: After wading through an ocean of jelly and instant custard, you reach a point where the end is in sight, you can't tell if you're enjoying the sponge or whether it has become more acceptable because you know it'll be over soon. Deciding this isn't important you plough on, when all of a sudden you're treated with a slight tingling sensation, you vaguely remember the title of this post mentioning sherry, and despite the sponge being almost entirely water-logged, you are treated to an ending with a sweet sherry taste (albeit with soggy sponge hanging around to take the edge off).
--

Side order: Robert Webb's dancing made this movie worth my time.